


Screws Loose

by Detroitbecomevenom



Series: The Umbrella Academy One-Shots [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Takes place in the 60s, The Cult, age gap, i'm not really sure what happens but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27819766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detroitbecomevenom/pseuds/Detroitbecomevenom
Summary: the last time that Y/n’s parents talked to her, they told her that they joined a “religious group” and they sold their house. Y/n, who is in the middle of her third year of college, knows that it’s up to her to get her parents out of this cult. she’s just unsure how credible this cult leader really is
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/Reader
Series: The Umbrella Academy One-Shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035696
Kudos: 14





	Screws Loose

“Hey, Y/n, our only child, we’ve decided to throw all of our common sense away and join a cult! Isn’t that just so fucking funny?” Y/n drove about ten miles well above the speed limit on a long country road on the way to Dallas, imitating her parents’ phone call to her. She was off at college for two and a half years and they managed to join a cult! They weren’t that old, but they were already losing some very important screws. It was up to her to get them out of a cult before it ends with a mansion full of dead bodies, two of them being her parents. 

Luckily for Y/n, this specific cult was very open in the papers as to where they were and the mansion that they currently stayed in. All she had to do was convince her parents to leave and she could get back to school.

Her mother was towards the entrance, tending to some flower bushes that needed trimming. Y/n walked along the pathway and tried to keep conversation between her and the freaks in blue to a minimum. Her mother’s face lit up upon seeing her and Y/n was engulfed in a hug. “Where’s dad?” she asked, briefly looking at the blue robe that she was wearing.

“Oh, I don’t know. What brings you here?” Y/n stepped back a little, the mother that she knew was much colder than the woman that stood in front of her. She wondered if this was the same person that threw a bottle of dish soap at the wall above her head for no reason she was aware of, other than the fact that she was constantly a stressed-out person.

“What brings me here? Maybe the fact that you joined a cult!” She gestured to everything around them. She never thought that at some point in her life, she’d be in this situation. Life is unpredictable, huh?

Her mother put a supporting hand on her shoulder, “Honey, maybe if you listened to the prophet, you’d understand that this is a religious experience that we couldn’t pass up! It would be good for you,” she made a lot of bad parenting choices while raising Y/n, but this one took the cake. 

Y/n shook her head, “I’m not here to join, I’m here to save you from whatever this prophet guy might do. Do you even believe this shit?” Her mother called a few cult members over while she was in her little rant.

“This is my daughter, Y/n. I think that she would benefit from hearing the prophet speak.” Much to Y/n’s protests, the people her mother was talking to grabbed her hands and guided her in the direction of the house. She didn’t want to struggle, as they were being gentle and she was a little afraid of what they might do to do if she did. This was a cult, she could never be too sure about the mental state of these people.

Y/n did admit that the landscape was beautiful and their hard work paid off big time. If it wasn’t infested with cult members, she might’ve wanted to live here. 

They brought her into the house (and calling it a house is being polite, it was a mansion) and more people joined in. Eventually, there was a crowd of people around her and many hands touching her arms and back. Y/n couldn’t run now, so she would have to talk her way out of whatever she got herself into here.

They stopped in the main room where a man with quite long hair sat, dressed in white, and seemingly talking to himself. Great, she thought, wondering how she was going to try and reason with this dude. He must’ve been the prophet that everyone was talking about. “We have someone who needs to hear your words of wisdom, prophet.” A bald man spoke.

Y/n jumped in, “No we don’t! I just came to get my parents from-”

The prophet raised his hand and shushed her, she stopped talking. He stood up and turned around to face her while the crowd around her backed away and knelt on the ground. Her eyes nearly popped, this man was fine. This dude may have a few screws loose but he was hot.

He held his arms out in her direction, “Today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you. By now, you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do,” his voice was soothing. Even if his words kind of sounded like nonsense, at least they were nice to hear.

If she told this story to her friends, there’s no doubt that they wouldn’t believe her. “I really hope this is an elaborate joke,” she whispered, even if it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

The prophet placed his hands on her cheeks and stared into her (e/c) eyes. She didn’t know how to react. “The word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before but you never really had a doubt.” Again, total nonsense.

“What’s that even supposed to mean? Is that seriously how you got these people to follow you?” Y/n stood there in disbelief. Maybe her intelligence wasn’t inherited and was a freak genetic mutation since her own parents fell for this obvious bullshit. 

“What are you here for, child?” he spoke softly to her. She tried holding back her laughter.

“Trying to convince my parents to not completely lose it. Now that I see everything, they might be too far gone,” she looked around the room that was covered in various flowers and portraits of the prophet, “What’s your endgame?”

“To bring my followers to spiritual bliss.”

Y/n held her hand out, “Stop. You and I both know that’s bullshit.”

The prophet sighed. He grabbed her hand and brought her into a closed room in the back. “Look, I needed a place to stay and I accidentally manipulated a bunch of rich ladies into thinking I’m some all-knowing prophet. It’s a very effective tactic, you should try it.”

Her jaw dropped, “Of course. I’d try it, but unfortunately, I’m not a young, hot guy.”

“I’m Klaus,” he held out his hand for her.

“Y/n,” she shook his hand.

They looked at each other for a moment. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Y/n blinked, “If you’re thinking that we should definitely make out right now, then yes.”


End file.
